My original business name was
Your Body Talks. I ended up changing it to Your Body Kinesiology, as I
considered that the body - your body - does so much more than just talk.
Your Body Heals. Your Body Grows.
Your Body Shines. Your Body Knows. Your body does know what it needs to heal,
to grow, to shine - but first, it must talk to you. To let you know when there
is something going on, when there is something not right, when there is
something out of balance.
Your Body Talks. Sometimes it’s a
whisper, sometimes it’s a little louder. Sometimes you hear, sometimes you
don’t. Sometimes you take notice, sometimes you don’t. Sometimes you act,
sometimes you don’t.
Sometimes your body screams.
‘Why aren’t
you listening?
Why aren’t you
taking notice?
Why aren’t you
doing something?’
This time last year, my body
screamed.
This time last year, I lay in a
hospital bed, attached to a heart rate monitor that alarmed incessantly as my
heart contracted erratically for hours on end, shaking the bed and my
emancipated 45kg frame. In those moments I did the only thing I could do – I prayed.
I prayed to God that I would not
die. I prayed that this was not it. I was not ready. I prayed that I would not leave
my babies, my Love, my family, my friends.
My Babies – they needed me!
This was not meant to be my story.
This was not meant to be their story. I was a fit, healthy and happy 37 year
old mother of three little ones – my 5 year old ‘big girl’, my 3 year old ‘baby
girl’ and my 1 year old baby boy – my buddy. I knew health and wellbeing, I promoted
health and wellbeing to my clients, my family, my friends and I practiced what
I preached!
This can’t - this shouldn’t be
happening to me!
But it was.
And in my vulnerability –
paralysed by fear and lacking any control of that moment or the next, I had
complete clarity and a bizarre sense of calm.
I knew I had to listen. I knew I
could not stick my head in the sand any longer. I just knew that there was more
to this than me lying on a hospital bed. It was one week before we were to move
from Brisbane back to Newcastle. I was
moving back ‘home’ for the first time in 19 years. It was a significant juncture in my life and
I realised that there was a lesson I had to learn before I went ‘home’. A
lesson I had failed to learn for too long – and now it was time.
I am eternally grateful that my
body screamed at me that day and forced me to hear and to act. If it had not
then I might not be here, or maybe the next time it could have been worse – my
body would have had to scream a little louder – what that would have looked
like, I need not imagine, because I learnt my lesson and I am now a different
person because of it.
What Was My Lesson? Well There
Were So Many!
5 days in hospital for a person
who struggles with the concept of, let alone the reality of, the western
medical model was confronting to say the least. Being told I was talking
‘Voodoo’ by my assigned Cardiologist when I asked about whether my magnesium
levels could be related to the ‘atrial fibrillation’ that I had inaccurately
been diagnosed, was infuriating. Never mind the look of disgust on his face
before he turned his back to me and walked from the room without answering when
I asked about a possible link between a specific gut bacteria (given my
significant digestive issues in the months preceding this event) and atrial
fibrillation.
Then there was the moment when I was pushed in a wheelchair, in nothing
but a hospital gown, to have an echocardiogram in an outpatient area of the
hospital. I was left sitting in the waiting room for an hour surrounded by
‘members of the public’, feeling physically and emotionally exposed and
completely disempowered.
Did they not know I rarely left
the house without make up on – let alone…umm…shoes & clothes!
Maybe this was part of the lesson
(and yes, I have only realised this while typing this), that by being so
disempowered I was being forced to let go of control. I was not in control and
I had to learn to be OK with that.
Delayed awareness – it’s taken a year to
come to see that one – but it’s come none the less!
And then there were my babies. My
babies had to see their mummy with wires all over her lying in a hospital bed.
They didn’t understand – well not really. ‘Mummy ick’ said my little man
repeatedly for those days I was away from him. My big girl, well she seemed
unfazed and more interested in what was on my dinner tray, but I know my girl,
and I saw the look in her eyes that first day when she walked towards me lying
on that bed with alarms blaring. They searched the scene, taking it all in,
trying to process it, trying to understand it and when they connected with mine
– all I saw was fear. And all I felt was pure love for her and her
vulnerability.
And then my Love. He juggled
three small children, organised a house for removalists, and the last week in
his job as well as being my emotional support, my belief that it would all be
ok, my calm, my strength – he was then, as he always has been, and always will
be - my medicine!
He makes it all better.
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| Me and My Love at a wedding, two weeks after I was in hospital. I'm holding on tight, because I was still feeling very vulnerable! |
And then there was my friends. Some opened their doors to my children, one took a day off work to look after my children, some rearranged their schedule to fit me in for kinesiology and chiropractic treatments, many expressed their love and
In hospital I learnt a number of lessons:
In hospital I learnt a number of lessons:
- I learnt patience and respect.
- I learnt to pray in a way so different to how I had been ‘taught’ to pray as a child.
- I learnt gratitude – for my life, my health, my little family, my family and friends.
- I learnt that it was OK to 'lean' on my friends when I was in need - to those who opened their doors to my children, took time off work to look after my children, who rearranged their schedules for to fit me in for kinesiology and chiropractic treatments and who shared their love and support during that crazy week - I am so grateful.
What Was Going On With My Body?
Well it’s complicated, as often
these things are. Most of it I didn’t figure out in hospital, it took about 3
months before I had a clear picture of what was really going on in my body.
But, if I had taken notice months
earlier, then things would not have ended up where they did. But I didn’t
listen to the warning signs and kept doing my thing – DOING being the operative
word. I kept doing the mum thing, kept doing the wife thing, kept doing the
housework thing, kept doing the Kinesiology thing, kept doing the friend thing,
kept doing the exercise thing, kept Doing! Doing! Doing!
And when I did, I did it
perfectly, because that was my way of staying in control. And I needed to feel
in control at that point as I obviously felt so out of control in other aspects
of my life. The job application process for my husband’s new role was long and
drawn out over a 4 month period. I felt I had no control over my future, I
didn’t know where I was going to be living in one month, two months, six months’
time and so I tried to control what I could. In doing so I ran myself into the
ground.
My adrenals were in a chronic
state of stress. I experienced two bouts of aggressive gastro which were
probably attributed to a parasite, stress and a damaged digestive system. As a
result, my weight plummeted to 45kg, no matter what I ate my body failed to
absorb many nutrients and this in turn had detrimental effects on the balance
of my thyroid.
I had removed gluten, grains,
refined sugars and dairy from my diet in an attempt to heal my digestive system
about two months before I ended up in hospital. However, on the days prior to
landing in hospital I had casually introduced small amounts of gluten into my
diet as we had a number of farewell dinners and lunches. I did not believe at
that time that I was sensitive to gluten and had simply removed it from my diet
to help heal my digestive system. It should not have been a problem to eat it
in small amounts. Or so I thought.
Through removing gluten from my
diet, my body had become more sensitive to it and therefore re-introducing it
triggered a dramatic response in the form of heart arrhythmias. There is much
evidence highlighting the link between gluten and cardiac arrhythmias. All this
is good in hindsight! The night I went to hospital I had been at dinner with
some girlfriends and probably had a small amount of gluten in some dumplings
and fried zucchini flowers! Not much, but enough to trigger a few arrhythmias
when I went to bed that night. These were something I had never experienced
before, so I was fairly alarmed when I felt a flittering in my chest.
My dad passed away 3 years ago of
a sudden massive heart attack. He had a long history of cardiovascular disease
and there was a strong genetic link in his side of my family. Needless to say,
when my heart started acting abnormally, I was alarmed and knew I couldn’t mess
around.
Bingo! My Body Finally Got My
Attention!
The irony was not lost on me that
I ended up in hospital attached to a heart rate monitor. I gave my dad so much
grief for years about what he should and shouldn’t do, should and shouldn’t
eat, should and shouldn’t drink to look after his heart.
 |
| My dad and my 'big girl' 2 months before he passed away. |
I thought I knew better than him!
I had all the health knowledge – hey I’d studied cardiovascular physiology, I
had worked in cardiac rehab programs – I knew ‘stuff’ and I was not backwards
in telling my dad that ‘stuff’. And yes, it came from a place of love, but it
was not delivered with respect.
And here I was 37 years old in
hospital with a ‘dysfunctioning’ heart…….hmmm – yep – might be a lesson in that
one! I think it comes under the heading RESPECT!
Respect for other people’s lives,
other people’s choices, other people’s journeys – they have their lessons to
learn and I must respect that.
Lesson Learnt!
But There Was More To Learn……
The first morning I was in
hospital, delirious from no sleep and stress, I unwittingly ate a piece of
toast (containing gluten). Within 30 minutes, the arrhythmias which had barely
been detectable since I had been in the hospital, suddenly started, at first one
or two, but quickly becoming 10-20 beats combined. This went on for hours and
hours. I will never forget opening my eyes to see two nurses standing at the end
of my bed just monitoring me, because the monitor would not stop alarming. It
was at this point, when I could feel my whole body and the bed vibrate with the
force of these arrhythmias that I truly feared I was dying. I didn’t know what
was happening.
I had to let go and put my trust
in something – something bigger than me – call it God, call it the Universe,
call it whatever you want. But I knew that there was nothing I could do but
pray and trust that it would be OK. And you know what – it was.
Another Lesson Learnt!
I have a strong belief that the
body has an innate healing capability. It is what I do as a Kinesiologist. I
realign people’s energy so that their body is able to function optimally and
therefore heal itself – it is what it is designed to do, it is what it wants to
do. Knowing this and experiencing this for yourself is a very different thing.
When I was discharged from
hospital I was physically and emotionally so fragile and vulnerable. 3 days
later we flew back to NSW and as planned we moved in with my mum until tenants
moved out of our house. I literally moved ‘home’ and back into my mum’s
nurturing nest. She helped me look after my babies so that I could focus on
little more than looking after myself and getting myself well again. For 6 weeks
I did just that. I stopped. I listened to my body. I responded to my body. I
played with my babies. I simply let myself enjoy the bare basics, yet most
beautiful aspects of life.
My best friend is a Chiropractor
and she is an amazing healer. She is so holistic in her approach to the body. I
saw her for treatments weekly from the time I moved home. First we worked on
healing my digestive system, then on balancing my thyroid and re-establishing
essential metabolic pathways. She helped me physically, mentally and
emotionally. I strictly followed the program of supplements that she
prescribed. We modified it weekly as my body realigned itself and started to
heal. Combined with my strict diet, which was gluten free, dairy free, grain
free and refined sugar free and included a lot of bone broths, I became well. I
had no digestive discomfort or upsets, I had put on 8kg in about 3 months, I
had an abundance of energy, I was running again, I was no longer experiencing
arrhythmias and I was no longer scared. I felt normal again.
I had experienced for myself the
amazing ability of the body to heal. And I admit I was in awe of my body and
forever grateful to my amazing friend for her love, support, belief in me and
her special healing gift.
Another Lesson Learnt!
And Yet There Was More….
While I was in hospital, I made
an appointment to see an Integrated medical doctor in Sydney. I knew of the
work that he did and the results that he had with a couple of friends, and
instinct told me that I needed to see him. I had to wait 3 months, and by the
time I saw him in August, I was ‘well’, compared to where I had been. I still
had a niggling pain in my sternum and my period, which had stopped in February,
had not returned and therefore I trusted that there was value in seeing him.
I learnt through this experience
to never doubt my intuition.
This doctor discovered that the
immunity around my heart was still significantly compromised, secondary to
compromised production of certain white blood cells in my bone marrow. As a result of this compromised immunity
around my heart, there was a bacterial infection in my heart. When he told me
(in a very undramatic matter of fact manner) that this bacteria has been
identified in the autopsies of 75% of ‘young’ people who die suddenly of heart
attacks, I was once again filled with absolute fear. Did that mean I could have
a heart attack at any moment? He was very calm and simply recommended that I
didn’t do too much running for a while and that our priority was to get rid of
this bacteria from my heart.
He continued his investigations
and identified x10 normal levels of arsenic throughout my body – my heart, my
brain, my spleen, my kidneys, my stomach and it was in my bone marrow, hence
the compromised immunity levels in my heart and other areas of my body. I
admit, I joked that my hubby must have poisoned me when he told me my body was
riddled with arsenic. He didn’t laugh, at that point, my brain had not
processed the whole picture and the potential severity of the situation.
How did my body become poisoned
by arsenic? I guess I will never really know but I have my ideas. Certain foods
have high levels of arsenic. It is used as a pesticide in a lot of countries,
Australia included. For example, Chinese garlic (as found most minced garlic)
has really high arsenic levels and really should be avoided. I had been eating
jar loads of this rubbish in my bone broths, in my ‘healthy keep cold and flu
away tonic’ and in most meals I cooked. I thought I was doing the right thing –
garlic has awesome healing properties – as long as it is not laced with
arsenic. I won’t list everything, but if
you are curious, google arsenic in foods and you will be mortified at what you
find. In addition there is arsenic in our environment, remnants of it in the soil
that we live on, play with and grow our food in.
The gratitude I felt for this
doctor as I left his building, with my bacteria and arsenic detox programs safely
in my handbag, was overwhelming. I truly believed he may have saved my life. If
none of this had been identified, it would have flared up at some other time,
in some other way and again I dare not think what that may have looked like.
My body quickly responded to my
detox program and the bacterial infection disappeared, the arsenic levels
reduced from x10 - x3 normal level in a 3 month period and my period returned
within 4 days of my second consultation with him, when he started to detox my
pituitary gland!
Was There A Lesson In All That For Me? Sure!
1. trust
my intuition and act on it
2. remain
grateful for each day and what it brings
3. DON’T
eat Chinese garlic (among other things!)
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| Me with my babies one month ago before I did my 10km run. |
And so, 12 months on here I am.
I am well. I am happy. I am calm. I am loving my life. I am
connected to me. I am connected to those I love. I am a great Kinesiologist. I
am successfully growing my business. I am flowing with my life. I am still
growing. I am still learning.
It’s about learning lessons and growing from, and with,
those lessons. It is not always easy and sometimes we slip backwards into our
old ways – but that’s ok. Once the lesson is learnt, it is never forgotten and
the awareness that we have because of that lesson, means that next time, we
will catch ourselves earlier, before we come crashing down.
Crashing down isn’t
fun….but gee it’s enlightening!
Here’s What I Learnt In the last 12 months! (in no order – just as it flows from my head and heart)
I learnt to be grateful for
today, tomorrow and yesterday.
I learnt to be grateful for all
that I have.
I learnt a love so deep for my
babies.
I learnt about the body and its
innate healing ability.
I learnt to nourish my body.
I learnt to heal from love not
fear.
I learnt to find joy in my life.
I learnt that joy comes from
within not from external ‘things’.
I learnt to nurture myself.
I learnt that tomorrow is never
guaranteed.
I learnt to breathe & the
power of breathing.
I learnt to let go.
I learnt to stop.
I learnt to be.
I learnt to do less and be more.
I learnt that connecting with my
babies is more important than the washing.
I learnt that my husband is my
soul mate and his love, belief and support in me is my medicine.
I learnt that the body is
beautifully complex in its physiology and yet magically simple in its healing
ability.
I learnt to love and respect my
body.
I learnt that there is more to
this life than the here and now.
I learnt to listen to and act on
my intuition.
I learnt that life is about our
connection to others not about doing stuff.
I learnt that mind chatter
distracts from heart whispers.
I learnt that it’s OK - in fact
it’s AMAZING to be vulnerable.
I learnt that we are all
different in our beliefs about healing and there is value in all.
I learnt that hospital is a place
I don’t ever want to be again.
I learnt to trust in God; the
Universe (whatever you want to call it) cause really – I’m not calling the
shots!
I learnt to pray – I mean really
pray!
I learnt to be brave.
I learnt to never underestimate a
child’s resilience and innate knowing.
I learnt to listen to my children
with different ears as they often have the answer.
I learnt to listen to my body –
to the whispers rather than waiting for the screams.
I learnt that it is OK to make
mistakes - because there are no mistakes, they are all just lessons.
I learnt to see, hear, feel,
touch & smell just a little more than before.
I learnt to love me wholly and
completely – all that I am is just me.
I learnt that writing is my way
of connecting to me and that it is really therapeutic.
This is what I have been waiting
to write for 12 months. I think I have been waiting for the right time, the
time when it would all just flow. When it would all come out and help me heal….just
that little bit more.
If you have continued reading my
ramblings (I do rabbit on, my hubby says so) to this point, I thank you for
your time in sharing my deepest thoughts and awakenings. As I come to the end, I now
believe that this, this process of writing, was more for me than anyone else,
but I do hope that you found something of value to take with you as you continue
your day or night.
I am grateful that on this day 12 months ago, my body screamed and I finally listened.
Are You Listening To Yours? x
Are You Listening To Yours? x
